He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
