are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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