and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize