PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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