I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You have to summon your inner elephant
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
