so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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