Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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