Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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