you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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