He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
