This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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