im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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