Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species