Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.