Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.