don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have post one night stand depression
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