I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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