She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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