The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
