ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
