ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
