He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We talked him into tasing himself.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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