He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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