Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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