This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
