i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
