How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
