Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
