i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
