Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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