I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
