this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize