I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
