I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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