i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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