Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
