some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.