he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
