i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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