apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...