Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it