Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
