all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
