So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
