she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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