If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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