I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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