I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize