Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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