She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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