So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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