I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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