I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
there is puke in my bra ... again
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