Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
