pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
