my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday