there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic