im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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