Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
