A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
