Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
