i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize