Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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