who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize