a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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